$518,000 Semi Truck Lemon Law Recovery

'Dwarf-Toss' Ban Could End

Florida Republican state lawmaker Ritch Workman, has introduced a "jobs bill" that would repeal a Florida ban on "dwarf-tossing." If the bill becomes law, it will allow Florida citizens to again competitively toss dwarfs in barrooms throughout the Sunshine State. Throwing dwarfs in Florida bars was first banned in 1989 because some democrats thought it was dangerous and dehumanizing. Most Republicans agree that dwarf-tossing is "offensive" and "stupid," but are willing to go along with the behavior under the mantra of "job creation." As a projectile in a 40 toss day, a smaller dwarf can earn up to $150. Workman says as long as the little people are protected by state approved safety suits, the new law will create jobs for dwarfs and midgets, "in a state where unemployment is 1.6 percentage points above the national average." Source, Bloomberg News

If dwarf-tossing catches on, what about Dwarf-Dancing... reality television featuring little people and the stars of the NBA?

Bastard - Definition

Entity formed by union of male sperm and female ovum in the back seat of a Chevrolet Impala because someone forgot to bring a rubber to the dance, i.e, my little cousin Wally's first born.

FOX NEWS

I have blocked The Fox News Channel from my TV. It has been replaced with hard-core pornography. Porn is far less offensive. And more importantly, I don’t want my children getting a peek of FOX NEWS on accident.

Debt Collector - Definition

Douchebag fired by every fast food chain in America before realizing life’s true calling…harassing old people, poor people and dumb people who are late on their 29% interest bearing credit card account.

Money Laundering, Condoms, Meat on Friday: The Pope is a Confusing Dude

Italian authorities seized $30 million from a Vatican bank in connection with a money laundering scheme. The Holy see said it was perplexed and surprised. On the condom issue, many Catholics are also confused. The Pope recently proclaimed it's OK for male prostitutes to use condoms as a prevention for the spread of HIV. Apparently however, the strictest defenders of Catholicism's "No Rubber Rule," prefer the spread of Aids over slipping on the jimmy. This is all very confusing to me. I still haven't figured out what happened to the souls of the people who ate meat on Fridays before 1967. If you had a hot dog on Friday in 1966 and died before going to confession, you'd burn in Hell - FOREVER. But then in 1967 the Pope said go ahead and eat all the hot dogs you want on Friday, it's no longer a Mortal sin - no Hell at all. I don't quite understand.

Lap Dancer and the Tax Warrant

State Marshall William Nolan breaks down in tears after lap dance at New Haven, CT strip club! Officer Nolan was at the club trying to serve a delinquent Tax Warrant on the club owner when a naked dancer persuaded him to try a lap dance. The officer took her up on the offer and then served the warrant. However, when the exotic dance was caught on tape by the club's security camera, Nolan cried like a baby apologizing to his wife and 87 year old mother for poor judgement. The poor judgment Nolan references is his failure to cover the security camera lens before the dance started.